Chief Greenwashing Director, CommBank
Work that matters
The Greenwashing Team partners with the CEO, marketing specialists and fossil fuel executives to create the perception that CommBank is acting on climate change. The Greenwashing Team is responsible for convincing millions of customers that CommBank cares about climate change while loaning billions to new fossil fuel projects.
At CommBank, we believe in the spirit of Can. Despite growing community concern about the preservation of sacred sites, oil spills and climate change, we believe in finding new ways to support our fossil fuel clients. CommBank CAN fund the expansion of the oil and gas industry AND protect our iconic diamond brand.
See yourself in our team
The Chief Greenwashing Director will lead a team of expert communicators to conceal our fossil fuel loans with a compelling story about climate action. Using the latest technology and innovation, the Greenwashing Director will lead a marketing strategy to persuade millions of Australians that we are keeping them safe during the climate crisis and establish CommBank as an environmentally responsible corporation.
As communities experience record floods and fires, the Greenwashing Director will play a pivotal role in concealing CommBank’s role as one of Australia’s biggest fossil fuel funders.
Current duties include:
- Drive CommBank’s greenwashing communications for more than 15 million customers across Australia.
- Work with a team to deliver innovative greenwashing techniques such as catchy slogans, accounting tricks, and images of happy children playing by wind farms at sunset.
- Integrate greenwashing messages into CommBank apps, products and content to reduce customer concern about the impacts of oil and gas projects on communities, First Nations land rights and the climate.
- Identify emissions and environmental loopholes to exploit.
- Ramp up greenwashing advertising when the CommBank’s iconic brand is at risk.
- Work with fossil fuel partners to establish messaging consistency.
We’re interested in hearing from people who have:
- Experience in creating a positive image for harmful industries such as fossil fuels, tobacco, asbestos, nuclear weapons or similar.
- Healthy denialism on the science of climate change.
- BA qualification or higher in marketing, psychology and/or media.
- Track record of valuing profits over people and the planet.
- Strong commitment to oil and gas companies.
- High level of apathy and cognitive dissonance about humanity’s future.
- No conflicts of interest, such as relationships with children or communities impacted by climate change.
In the greenwashing team, we take a proactive approach to your career development. Your ongoing development would be part of an integrated development plan. As Greenwashing Director, you will have access to CommBank’s senior leadership and board, as well as lucrative opportunities to network with the fossil fuel industry.
Establish yourself in a growing industry. Greenwashing is in high demand due to increased climate concern amongst staff, investors, customers and communities. If you CAN help us to pollute, we have many opportunities for promotion in the company. Imagine the possibilities.